This Is A War We Cannot Win.

UPDATE! YAYYYY

so what's new in my life?
nothing. LOL
let's see this band thing is slowly but surely getting moving.
the wheels are being greased right now as we speak! (well read in this case)

Tanya found us a drummer keyboardist AND second guitarist.
amazing. what fucking luck bro.
what fucking luck.
now to get to song writing -______-
the hardest but most exciting part.

lyrics are easy it's the music that I'm so damn critical with. everything with me needs to sound original. I refuse to settle for anything less.


So tomorrow I'm off so I'm goin to Tanya's early to Jam and just hang out with mah best frannnd <3

then after I'm meetin up with Sorice to hang out in brooklyn yayy =)

I love when I have plans for my days off. I hate wasting them
AND SATURDAY
WHO'S GETTIN CRUNK?
THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE IS THAT'S FOR MOTHER FUCKING SURE !

OH WAR @ WORK
I can't believe this bitch had the nerve to fucking disrespect me to my face today.
so....I popped off.
and I had to be escorted downstairs for twenty minutes.
ridiculous

Friday night I have to work with that nasty bitch again but Peter won't be there, Larry will. And I know already that Larry doesn't like her but Larry and I get along.
so maybe it won't be too bad...
but honestly,
there's going to be a huge blow up.
I feel it.


Wish me luck.
Because I am NOT a bitch to fuck with.

anywaysss that's it for now
back to playing guitar before I gotta call Tanya and set up what we're playing tomorrow/ what I'll need to bring :D

Brooklyn. We Go Hard

IN BROOOOOKLYN.

watching sal play street fighter because i refuse to play with him.

random update because I feel its necessary
OH I WON A BET =)
because I smoked lights. Marlboro Lights. To Win A Bet. LOL
(Tracy don't yell @ me )


uhmmmmm nothing really new...
oh got the band shit going..which is good. just gotta work on writing songs and actually having a full band practice
it's always just 2/3 of us...and i'm always one of the thirds...LOL



I WALKED LIKE 32O4857349573495834053498 MILES
my feet hurt and my leg is cramping but i guess that's because the farthest I've walked in the past month and a half is to work and back home. what a trip right -___-

anyways i'm pmsing like a mother fucker. more later on the band stuff

byeeeeee


<3Bianca

OH btw. totally covering Jeezy's Put on.


"I put on for my city that's a mother fucking fact."
classic.

yesss my miss may i shirts came in!

i have a boyfriend in denial.

xeroxedherizon (2:11:41 AM): her nonboyfriend
xeroxedherizon (2:11:42 AM): he dont know
xeroxedherizon (2:11:42 AM): anything
xeroxedherizon (2:11:44 AM): about her
xeroxedherizon (2:11:44 AM): hes
xeroxedherizon (2:11:46 AM): too sober
xeroxedherizon (2:11:50 AM): xbox
SEX ON TOAST xD (2:11:49 AM): LMFAO!
SEX ON TOAST xD (2:11:51 AM): HAHAHAHAHA
xeroxedherizon (2:11:53 AM): i wish that i could make her see
xeroxedherizon (2:11:59 AM): shes just to good for his stupid peen
SEX ON TOAST xD (2:12:03 AM): <333333333333333333333333!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AMAZING. lol


"cause I can't do without you by my side
I want t see you waiting there for me"
-Belladonna

also thank god for auto drafting cause toshiba had a shitfit and shut off in the middle of this.

alsoooo going to have a jam sesh on saturday :D
should go well...

party last night was AMAZINGG pics later.
"I notice your eyes are always glued to me
Keeping them here, and it makes no sense at all"

WHY can't I get one straight signal yo?
lets work on this.

The Worst Is Yet To Come

what an interesting few days.

So, I've been promoted. and today I was actually like MANAGING!
it was kinda cool
some of the girls are jealous and actin mad stank towards me but oh well fuck them


so the one hope I had for dating someone was a big no =(
figures you leave yourself vulnerable to someone hoping it goes in one direction, and he's really just not interested at all
at least that's what I got...I didn't get a straight answer. fuck it
and i'm working hardcore this week
I work today (friday), saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, and friday and I only have valentine's day off
which i'm spending with Kristi! ♥

we're gonna bake and get drunks and record songs so stay tuned for me uploading those

I wrote a few songs too which I'll have up here later
I banged something out and it's really rough so it needs a lot of work before it's finished but at least I have a body of something



uhmm that's really it.

i'm still mad about the boy situation =/
and my nightmare about being pregnant and having a not cute baby haha
maybe i'll put that up later who knows


off to play guitar and smoke more cigarettes :D

night kiddies.

Til Everyone Is Singing.....

SIX DAYS.
SAME FUCKING SCHEDULE AS LAST WEEK.

I don't even think I'll go out tonight.
fuck it.


by the way, I am apparently devoid of any kind of affection.

hmmm....


as Kristi put it "are you gonna be my top bitch or my bottom bitch?"
lmao <3



so I figure tonight, I'm gonna take a stab at this tonight
I already have the feeling that I know the answer
and that the answer is not going to be what I want it to be...

But I really am done playing games.

damn...

I'm pms-ing hardcore. oh well.

I can't really put this off for too much longer



Yeah you want it but I can't help it
I just feel complete when you're by my side
But I know you can't come home 'til they're singing

Sleep Is Overrated.

so I've made it through most of the week.
it's now friday.
so, so far i've worked about hmm...22 hours? just about
then I've got 6 hours today tomorrow and sunday a full on 8 hours.
god bless the superbowl -___________-


and now I'm in brooklyn.

NO SLEEP the next two days

so tonight after work I'm supposed to be going to see chris
and stay with him @ blockbuster until 1 am...then hang out all night -_______-

THEN
tomorrow night AFTER WORK
straight to Astoria with Chris to meet up with Tanya and Jen
to get drunk off my ass (:


oh well. that's what these are for

Whatever It Takes...

sticking to old habits I see Bianca...
still not sleeping
well I'm going to have to start being that I am scheduled to work EVERYFUCKINGDAYTHISWEEK
THIRTY EIGHT HOURS.
the only day off I have is MONDAY.


MONDAY?!

WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO ON A MONDAY BRO?!

fuck.
If I don't start sleeping I am going to get sick and be completely and totally wiped the fuck out on some real shit.
I'm gonna go buy sleeping pills and Emergen-C tomorrow @ my fave store of all time Duane Reade ♥

try and boost this shit up.

so tomorrow (or later today rather) I'm going to get up at noon, order chinese food and write a song about apathy.
Yes I plan on starting and finishing an entire song before I have to be at work @ 5pm tomorrow
and I seriously seriously hope I do it....
wish me luck.

now it's 431am, and I'm going to watch Degrassi until 5 at least...love this show.
then hopefully I will pass out.



GOD WILLING I will have some fucking chill time this week. Mother leaves on saturday the 31st :D

"Whatever it takes,
I know I can make it through"

hahahaha <3333


good night loves.

restart.

so tomorrow is brunch with tanya :D

next week my mom leaves. thank the lord.
my room reeks of cigarette smoke it's actually kinda nasty
i'm gonna cut down
there is no point to me writing in this cause i'm bored to death with nothing to say really

anyways I'm going to try an experiment


so on some real shit, this computer needs to be taken in ASAP.
I can't deal with these random SHUTDOWNs anymore.

and I need to go down to Hunter College ASAP to see about applying.
I am NOT going another year without being in school I can't. Even if I have to take out loans
god willing I'll get a lot of Financial Aid...but we all know how that shit goes.


Ugh Friday is my only other day off and I reallllly need plans for Friday.
I'm not spending it like I spent last friday...bored and pissed the fuck off
and no platonic ass hugs either. fuck that shit.
that pissed me off. truth.

I'm not dealing with that anymore either.

So basically, I'm not procrastinating anymore...hopefully

That takes a LOT of self discipline which is something I've always had a really hard time with...oh well maybe that will change

oh my tattoo is done forgot to mention that...I'll have a pic of it later.

haven't showed mommy dearest yet...don't plan on it.

w/e this blog was kinda pointless.

i'm off this. and on to duane reade to eat wheat thins with hummus..lmao

bye.
<3

beautiful man

New Starts...

So it's 2009

and what have I done so far?

saving money :D
there's actually more than 30$ in my bank account...THANK GOD.

hmm so many changes upcoming in this year


but I'm kicking myself right now because I seem to have gotten myself stuck in a certain situation that I promised myself I wouldn't. hah.

so now I'm going to get myself out of it.


I just can't wait until the end of january. Soooo many things are going to happen. My mom is going away, and so is Tanya's...so PARTY

plus I'll have money, and a new guitar. and hopefully something else new too (:

it's hard not to get your hopes up, but it happens anyway

i'm going to look into buddhism because it's always interested me and I want to learn more about it


that's it for now. I just got in from the freeeeezing fucking cold
I was upset so I walked to 42nd street
walking clears my head.


beautiful.